Disturbing The Peace

Dear New Neighbor,

I know that we have not met yet because we have not moved in, but I am sure that you will understand that it was not our intention to blast the neighborhood with our alarm system for what seemed a never ending period of time on this lovely Sunday afternoon.

I'm also sure you will understand that our floor finisher did not intend to fill the house with so much dust that it set off our hard-wired fire alarms which could be heard for several miles away.

I am equally sure that you will understand that we did not know that the security system including the fire alarms was set to activate- as were not told this.

I'm certain that it is easy for you to believe that we were not given a code or a key to the security box that holds all the shut-off switches and that we were not aware that if it that alarm when off that there was a huge siren speaker off the back of the garage that would send that unbelievably loud screech through our lovely neighborhood.

And I also feel confident that you will appreciate that I was finally able to get a hold of the security company who did not have a code for the system and couldn't disconnect it even when I offered to fax them a copy of my contract on the house.

I also am VERY SURE that you are very happy that a security technician took pity on me and actually came to the house and disconnected the entire system with just the removal of a wire or two-(I think because he wanted me to JUST stop talking and calling.) And oh yes, he found the key to the alarm box, locked IN the box.

Finally, I am completely certain that he will charge me and arm and a leg for his service which will somehow make the universe nice and balanced again-since there are at least 100 people who would like to see the "For Sale" sign go back up on our house, including the bride all her friends attending the bridal shower taking place 2 streets over!

Most Sincerely,
Your New Neighbor

P.S. We are actually very quiet people and Oh Yeah, the concrete slabs in the driveway are not from digging a fallout shelter.